


Not Enough

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-07
Updated: 2006-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-02 02:13:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12717612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Their relationship is still new and Daniel is already starting to feel threatened. Can Jack fix it?





	Not Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: This is my first fanfic. The story was written in response to a challenge set around the lyrics to "If I Fell" by The Beatles. Thanks to Shazz and AnnO for performing miracles through beta and making sense of the fic! Feedback welcome :)  


* * *

Not Enough

Daniel sighed as the sound of the slamming door echoed around his apartment. He absently threw his keys on the table beside him and made his way to the tiny kitchen. Placing the bottle of Jack Daniels on the counter, he reached for a glass. There was a persistent ache in his stomach, but Daniel couldn't decide whether it was post-appendectomy related or if it was because he was hungry. He didn't really care one way or the other.

His hand reached out toward the ever-present bottle of painkillers, detouring at the last second to grab the whiskey, and before he knew it, he'd poured a glass and knocked it back. Eyes watering and throat burning, he poured another and turned to go into the living room, taking the whiskey and drugs with him.

The place was quiet. Deafeningly so, the only light coming from the kitchen. Daniel felt numb. Lost. When had it gone so wrong?

_"I care for you, Daniel." Jack had said the words so quietly even so they had stopped Daniel in his tracks._

_"Jack?"_

_"I love you."_

_Daniel had smiled then as Jack had slowly closed the distance between them and gently brushed his lips against the younger man's, a pink tongue tasted and a hand gently cupped Daniel's face. Leaning forward again, Jack deepened the kiss, loving the fact that Daniel had responded._

_It had taken time for Daniel to accept and welcome Jack's love. Showing uncharacteristic patience, time Jack had willingly given. The first time Daniel said the words, actually told Jack he loved him, the older man's heart had soared._

Their relationship grew in every way except physically. Jack had said he'd wait until the younger man was ready, but insecurities always warred with Daniel and he was afraid Jack would get tired of waiting.

_"There's nothing going on between us, Daniel. There never has been, never will be! Carter's my subordinate, for crying out loud!"_

_"But if she wasn't…"_

_"There still wouldn't be anything! I love YOU!"_

Daniel sighed into his glass. He'd been hurt by the continued flirting between Jack and Sam. He couldn't handle it. Couldn't help feeling betrayed.

_"Well, she probably wishes there was, Jack!"_

_Jack had turned cold eyes on the younger man then. "What is this, Daniel?" he'd ground out. "You don't trust me?"_

_Daniel had flinched at the harshness of that accusation. That had hurt. Trusting Jack had never been an issue._

_"Her. It's her I don't trust," he'd whispered as Jack had stormed out._

The tears were falling now, unnoticed. Another drink. And another. Daniel hung his head.

_Voices. Anxious, angry voices. Jack._

_"His appendix?!"_

_"Colonel O'Neill!" And Janet. "Please keep your voice down."_

_Letting the drugs pull him back under then, Daniel didn't see Jack again until a couple of days later. Then Jack was gone. They were all gone. He'd been left alone._

_Nearly a week later and they'd all returned. A week that Daniel had had to worry. To imagine._

"Yeah, Jack," he whispered to himself. "Just what did happen in that week?"

_He'd had begun to see the flirting even more then. Daniel had even started to take notice of the rumors. 'The Colonel was doing the Major.' He’d tried to avoid his team-mates, avoid them all, had done so pretty well too, until the Russian sub thing._

Daniel didn't like to remember that. Of what Jack had made him do. "You bastard, Jack! Don't you know what that did to me?" Sobbing he tipped the bottle and swallowed. "It tore me apart!"

_Then all his team had returned. All safe. Daniel had decided to seek Jack out. To talk. But to his dismay, Jack had already left. And so had she. He'd put two and two together and had come up with a bottle of Jack Daniels and an empty apartment._

The knocking was soft at first but became louder, accompanied with a barked, "Daniel!" then the click of a key in his lock. Lost in his own misery, Daniel didn't hear Jack enter the apartment.

Jack came in slowly, his eyes having to adjust to the subdued lighting. "Daniel?" he called. "You in here?" Then he saw him. His heart broke to see the dejected looking figure slumped on the couch. Cautiously he knelt before Daniel, wincing as his knees complained.

"Danny?" he quietly said as he took in his lover. A bottle of whiskey, three quarters gone. A bottle of painkillers, unopened, thank God.  
Carefully he tried to take the glass from his lover's fingers when Daniel gasped, startled at the sudden sight of the man before him.

"Jack?!"

Now, Jack didn't understand. Daniel seemed genuinely surprised to see him. How could that be possible? "Hey, Danny. What's going on?" Jack asked, holding up the whiskey bottle.

"Wh..What're you doing here, Jack?" Daniel asked quietly. "Where's Sam?"

The quiet accusation, _'Where's Sam?'_ caused Jack to close his eyes.

Before the older man could answer, Daniel's soft voice continued. "You shouldn't be here. Should be with her. With Sam. You want her, not me…"

Jack sat back, shocked at what he was hearing.

"…can't be with you, Jack, I can't. Can't fall in love with you, hurts too much. It's not enough. I'm not enough. I'm not…not worth the pain…"

Placing his hands on Daniel's thighs, Jack squeezed gently. "No, Daniel, that's not true. I love you. Not Sam, not her. You."

Not hearing Jack's words, Daniel continued, his voice becoming softer. "I don't know how to love, don't understand…" Tears filled Jack's eyes as Daniel continued, "…I'd love to love you, Jack, but I can't. I can't do that to Sam, to you. I can't give you my heart because it's not enough." Daniel looked at Jack. "I'm sorry."

Jack gently cupped Daniel's face, looked deep into heart-broken eyes. "Daniel, I love you. Do you understand? You," he whispered. "Only you." He leaned forward. "Only you." He breathed into Daniel's mouth before taking it in a gentle kiss. When he pulled back, he saw Daniel had passed out. 

Carefully he lowered him to lie on the couch. Jack stared at the man he loved. "Tomorrow, Baby. Tomorrow I'll show you how much."


End file.
